You made a spiritual agreement to be a mother

Do you sometimes say your children are your biggest teachers? Have you been pretty blown away with how different motherhood has been from how you expected it to be?

Well, if you’re nodding, something tells me we have a few things in common. I might be wrong but you’re probably quite sensitive, emotionally aware and spiritually minded. You desperately want to be a good mum and hope your kids have a more connected and nurturing childhood than you had. But it’s hard right?

Lots of the mums I work with are struggling with the pressure to be a better parent than their parents were. It can be exhausting and in actuality, impossible some days. The truth is, it’s much harder to be a consistently ‘aware’ parent than it is to use the good old fashioned authoritarian parenting style. Cue zingers such as: “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” or the old favourite: “If you two don’t stop fighting, I’ll bang your heads together.”

To be an aware and healthily attached parent means doing a good job at staying in your calm adult role, as your inner child is being massively triggered multiple times a day. It means knowing and working on your childhood wounds ad infinitum and honestly, who can afford the decades of therapy? I mean tools like yoga, meditation, coffee catch-ups, exercise and a supportive partner (oh sorry, he’s not a tool) can be amazing but who’s there for your inner child who exists mainly in unconscious awareness and stubbornly holds onto their resentments, wounds and suffering?

This is where spiritual and energy healing modalities such as Kinesiology, Reiki, channelled meditations, past life regression, body work, journalling practices and somatic therapies (to name only a few) can be life altering.

What I’m also here to gently offer, is that having a spiritual perspective on every moment of your day will invite your little inner self to heal and grow. Holding an awareness that your higher self chose this life, this child, this partner, this place to dwell, so you could make use of the experiences presented to you to receive contrast, challenge, pressure, expansion, joy and love. You also chose your own parents. Ooch! How does that land?

Do you believe your children chose you?

So let’s play ‘what if’. What if everything you’re currently dealing with is leading you somewhere happier and more whole, it’s just that you’re still in the quagmire and you need a little more help navigating the path? You could probably do with more actual human feet on the ground in your home and more emotional support from your loved ones. But maybe the logistics are out of your control and other people have their own stress right?

What I want you to know is you’re not alone and there is help. There are so many mums just like you in the world feeling very similar pressures and not believing they’re doing a good enough job. Other mums shout at their kids and then feel like crap. Other mums give themselves a hard time over small slip ups like telling a child to shut up when overwhelmed, but forgetting they were at the absolute limit of their capacity to function. What about all of the other times when you were kind, calm, patient, fun, loving and freakin’ nailing this mum gig!

It’s time we were more honest about how demanding it is to be a mum in this society and it’s especially hard if you’re deeply sensitive, neurodivergent, suffered childhood trauma or all of the above (which is actually quite likely). It’s okay to admit it’s difficult and to expect more support.

I’m here and I’ve been where you are.

Tricia x